Sick, In So Many Ways

The past two weeks have not been what I'd hoped would pass for normal; illness has run rampant through the family, jumping from member to member, and bringing with it not only typical symptoms but also lethargy, a lack of focus and a general loss of motivation for any meaningful task.

The beauty of walking this journey, however, is that even on sick days I'm still able to keep moving. The pace may slow and the intensity drops, but the feet do still keep moving, one step at a time. Each day hasn't brought my total mileage as high as I'd prefer, but so long as it does continue to rise, no matter how small the increments, that is progress.

Sickness is more than physical, however. There are domestic issues with extended family, acquaintances and colleagues that I'm sick of juggling, work issues with deadlines, clients and paperwork that I'm sick of reshuffling and diet issues with time, taste and preparation that I'm sick of needing to balance to get everything just right for each day. This is the time when I begin to look forward to summer travel - when schedules lighten, children are out of school, and time just seems more plentiful - but with bitter cold temperatures searing my lungs on every walk, it still seems far away.

Today I'm also getting that queasy, sick, anxious feeling about tomorrow's milestone; another month's weigh in. The last progress check was a grave disappointment, and I just cannot judge how well this month has gone - in some ways better, in some ways worse. But how much better and how much worse? Time will tell, scales will tell, measuring tapes will tell. I would say that better health is a reward no matter what numbers add up to, but with so much overall sickness, that's just not the psychological boost it could have been right now.

But at least tomorrow can begin healing. A new month is always an opportunity to be optimistic.